Microsoft really recorded a Christmas carol with the words Bingle Bells

June 2024 · 2 minute read

Microsoft tweeted a fake commercial for a pretend holiday album called Microsoft Holiday Hits, a not-real, four-CD album that claims it features “60 festive favorites.” I want to reiterate that this is not a real album — but the company actually went to the effort to record tidbits of Microsoft-themed versions of classic Christmas carols anyway for the lols. I dearly love puns, dad humor, and terrible jokes, but even I groaned at some of what Microsoft did here.

Here are the lyrics to one eye-rolling carol:

Joy to the Word / spellcheck is done

It fixed all of my stuff

Or how about this classic? I look forward to hearing your collective sighs of despair over the Internet:

Please Mute Ye Merry Gentlemen / You’re talking far too loud

We’re trying to have a meeting / You’re yelling in a crowd

But by far the worst offender is “Bingle Bells,” which is somehow actually stuck in my head:

Bingle Bells, Bingle Bells / Bing goes all the way

Oh what fun it is to surf the World Wide Web today, hey

I have to give Microsoft some credit for some of the fictional song titles, though. “Deck the halls with ‘90s Clip Art” sounds like a great theme for a holiday party. “Windows Wonderland” is actually pretty clever. “Let it Segoe! Let it Segoe! Let it Segoe!” made me do that thing where you breathe quickly through your nose when you read something funny online. And the whole video is presented in the style of an old Christmas-themed infomercial, which is charming.

You can certainly say Microsoft’s ads have been memorable, which I guess is the whole point.

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